Why do you love your spouse? Because he is a good provider or has an amazing sense of humor? Because she is talented, kindhearted or generous? If your love is attached to some behavior or personality characteristic, it is a conditional love, not agape love, which is unconditional. Unconditional, unselfish agape love is a difficult thing to strive for. It doesn’t mean you allow yourself to be mistreated or abused, or even that you shouldn’t speak up if your needs are not being met. It means you can love your spouse even when he or she is acting unlovable, or is sick, unemployed or depressed. When you are not “getting” as much as you’re “giving” it’s agape love that keeps you committed to the relationship nonetheless. Agape love isn’t destroyed by time or temperament, by rough patches or seasons of sadness, by old age or illness. Agape love is a choice to be committed come what may. Is that the kind of love you possess? Do you love your spouse, or do you love what you get from your spouse? The love that Christ has for us is the love that we're supposed to show our spouse every day. If, as Paul said in Ephesians 5:1-2, we are to "be imitators…and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." We will be adding new topics throughout each month that will focus here on a healthy Christian marriage. Topics will be surrounding the ups and downs, communication, questions, doubts and fears, affection and intimacy and what the word of God says about marriage. You are welcome to interact with thoughts questions or testimonies of the discussions we have here. If you missed a topic we posted you can find it available under archives..